Issue link: https://digital.copcomm.com/i/556541
August 10 - August 31, 2015 6 Working World l WorkingWorld.com FEATURED ARTICLE by Mark A. Vicker E mily, a sales manager in a large organization, was having significant challenges with her team. Communication with team members was inconsistent, and she continually struggled to motivate them. Her team was regularly missing their monthly objectives, and failed to provide meaningful status updates. The core issue Emily faced is all too common. Anytime you are communicating with people, your ability to create rapport is key to your success. Emily did not realize that there is a WALL between her and the team, and her responsibility to take the WALL down as quickly as possible. Two simple questions helped Emily realize she had not built rapport, or developed any form of relationship with her team members. 1. Have you spent time building a relationship with your team members? 2. Do you know what they like, want, and need at home and at work? In Emily's case, the answer to both of these questions was no. She was attempting to manage people with whom she had no relationship other than being "the boss". Establishing strong rapport does not mean learning everything about your customer or employee's private lives, but rather, showing them that you care about them and what is important to them. TAKING THE WALL DOWN The wall between you and other people can be removed by developing your skills and maintaining focus on four key concepts: • W- Watch • A – Ask • L – Listen • L – Learn W - WATCH Observe any master of rapport, and you will see a person who has a keen awareness of their surroundings including other people and how they react. What to watch for before the first word is spoken When you enter into a rapport building situation, your observation skills will help you determine good starting points for your conversation. Before the first words are said, take a few seconds to take stock of the surroundings. If you are meeting someone in their home or office look for conversation starters or anything that might create common ground. You might look for: • Any item that is given a place of prominence • What is on their desk and side tables • Pictures • Awards, memorabilia, or collectibles If they are coming into your office you will have fewer clues so pay close attention to what they are looking at. When you notice that they are paying special attention to something, it may be a sign of a potential conversation starter. As you are building rapport Once engaged in a rapport-building conversation, your skill at observing the reactions of the other person will help you guide the conversation in the most productive direction. Pay close attention to: • Their eyes • Their body positioning • Their gestures • What they look at during the conversation Caution When you are observing people as part of rapport-building, never make an assessment based on a single "sign". People are called "individuals" for a reason and each will respond in their own way. Look for combinations of signs and signals, and changes over the course of the conversation to understand more accurately how they are responding to you. A - ASK Asking powerful questions will provide you the most reliable way to create rapport. Beyond just asking powerful questions, having a strategy with preplanned questions frees you to focus more intently on the other person. As you consider the questions you will use to build rapport, choose questions that will: • Show you taking an interest in them • Build a relationship based on the needs of the other person • Show your understanding of your area of expertise • Gather important information to direct the conversation By asking questions that show a genuine interest in the other person's wants, needs, and interests, they are more likely to open up to you. If you have similar rapport-building situations on a regular basis, to take the time to develop a question library that you draw from when building rapport. Caution During the rapport-building segment of a conversation, it is easy to slip into the "I" mode, telling the other person everything about what you do. Your objective is to get them into "I" mode. Keep the rapport-building about them. They should be doing most of the talking. L - LISTEN You have asked your powerful questions and now it is time to employ the most important rapport-building skill – listening. So many professionals ask all the right questions, but they don't really listen to the answers they are given. These professionals assume they are building rapport, but they forget to really listen: • Intently to the words • For changes in tone, volume, or speed • Vocal cues for emotions like excited, The 4 Keys to Building Rapport Tearing down the WALL