Issue link: https://digital.copcomm.com/i/11545
Whether it's the triumphant end point for someone who has diligently applied themselves, or a ceremony rocked by the legitimate presence of a student voted "Most Likely to Dropout," graduation is always a time for celebration. And, as with all good celebrations, let there be gifts. GRADUATION GIFT GUIDE: What to Buy the Graduate in your Life. Dream Gift: Trip around Europe With a plummeting Euro, now is the time to cash in and send your high school graduate on the traditional "coming of age" jaunt around the Old World. Pack them off with strict instructions to call home when in the vicinity of Milanese boutiques. Whatever you do, don't watch the movie "Taken" which involves a trip to Paris and Armenian people smugglers. Generous: Mini Fridge Especially perfect for the college-going graduate, the mini fridge not only keeps the beer cold, but also imparts an aura of "je ne sais quoi" about the owner. Immediately marked out as more savvy than all the non-fridge owning freshmen, this is like direct mailing all members of the opposite sex advertising your mini-fridge owner as "the one to know (biblically)". Practical: Digital Dictaphone The must-have accessory for the modern student, the digital Dictaphone market has come down in price making these the affordable, high quality gifts that just keep giving. Perfect for recording lectures and essay- planning - a must have for diligent student and perpetually hung-over slacker alike. High School Graduate Hints: College Graduate Hints: Personal: Photo Album Filled With Memories Get their friends to supply photos and compile into a hard copy keepsake. And you don't have to stop at photos, get all 'crafty, and staple in flowers indigenous to their backyard, leftovers from the farewell meal (ziplock), and maybe some handy unused condoms. This album will be something for the homesick freshman to clutch onto, like a piece of driftwood in high seas, during those scary first few nights away. Promissory Incentive: Model Car Buy them a tiny metal version of their dream car and hand it over with the promise that, if they don't get pregnant/ get anyone pregnant and hit their grades, you will buy them/contribute towards this car upon successful college graduation. If they're a law student, play it safe and have an official contract ready to sign. Dream Gift: Make Good On The Dream Car Well, they graduated, managed to dodge all contractual loopholes, and now you have to buy them the dream car. To look at it another way, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, someone with a Bachelor's Degree can earn, over their lifetime, half a million more than someone who stops studying after graduating high school. If they hadn't had that tiny Mattel DeLorean to lust after, the Bank of Parent would be in for some loans it could never hope to recoup. In other words, count yourself lucky, these losses are small fry compared to what might have been. Also, they might let you borrow the car from time to time. Win Win! Generous: Laptop An essential for modern living, a brand new, top of the line laptop is sure to put a smile on any graduate's face. Not only does it empower them from an employment/Facebook perspective, but, by replacing the old laptop (its digital arteries heavily furred with porn from the hedonistic college days), you offer them a clean slate and a chance to become a better, more responsible, porn-free member of society. Practical: Job If you have one to give, this would be welcome. In these tough economic times, even a part-time gig mowing the lawn and tending the azaleas will buoy up the spirits of a graduate still on the hunt for that entry-level position (currently being filled by a PhD with twenty years' experience and four kids to support). Personal: Silver Frame For The Degree Certificate A safe favorite. The graduate can proudly display their achievement for all the world to see and respect (remember to hide your hurt if this ends up on the bathroom wall). Promissory Incentive: Box Set Of The Office While the job hunt inevitably continues, the graduate can laugh away the days/months/years enjoying an entertaining satire of the modern workplace. It'll also soften the blow when they finally do enter the workplace and discover just how accurate The Office really is. By: CHRIS ALLSOP 18 LIVEMAGS.NET JUNE>>10