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members for their politics, lifestyle, or attitudes may seem like an insurmountable challenge for many holiday party-goers. "Mindfulness is by far the greatest tool for these situations because it teaches us to cultivate non-reactivity," Israel says. "Not reacting to a dynamic that was established 20 or 30 or 40 years ago is de nitely the best way to change it." Israel o en gets emergency phone calls from patients over anksgiving and Christmas from the ground zero of holiday homes. "I always tell them, ' at conversation or ght you're having with your mother/father/sister/brother isn't about what you think it's about.' And then we discuss things that happened in childhoodabandonments, betrayals, violations, humilia- tions, frustrations, not feeling heard, being sick of being told what to do and who to be, etc." He encourages his patients to watch their thoughts, rather than reacting. "I like to give pa- tients little phrases like 'Wow… isn't that interesting! All of my mommy/abandonment/trust (whatever the core issue is) but- tons are being pushed right now!' And then they can decide to take a walk or do something healthy instead of exacerbating the situation." So how can one remain calm and communicate with family members who may have opposing points of view, especially during this time of year? "Listening is key in communication, regardless of the content," Lichtenstein says. "Allow one anoth- er to listen, without interruption, and then share your point of view. Try and make room for an opposing view by saying, 'I see your point. Here's how I look at the topic....' And the phrase, 'we can agree to see things dif- ferently,' works as well," she suggests. ParamahansaYogananda's Meditation Techniques When Mukunda Lal Ghosh was born in Gorakh- pur, India, in 1893, his parents' guru predicted he would rise to spiritual greatness. Sure enough, he grew up to be Paramahansa Yogananda, author of the spiritual classic Autobiography of a Yogi and the founder of the Self-Realization Fellowship. His 1946 book has been translated into at least 43 languages and more than 500 SRF temples and centers operate around the world, including several in the L.A. area. Sister Draupadi, senior monastic, entered the SRF ashram in 1973. "When one uses scienti c methods of meditation, such as the Kriya Yoga technique taught by Paramahansa Yogananda, it is possi- ble to withdraw the energy and atten- tion from the restlessness of thoughts, emotions, and sensory perceptions, and go within," she says. "In that inner stillness, the meditator begins to expe- rience a deepening inner peace. is state naturally makes it easier to get along with others and to deal with the uncertainties and stresses of one's envi- ronment." Paramahansa's system takes com- mitment. Beginners learn a series of energization exercises and concentration techniques before they're ready for the ad- vanced Kriya learnings. But you can learn from Yogananda without mastering Kriya. "Yogananda o en spoke on the subject of how to get along with others," Sister Draupadi says. He advised getting away from people who are losing their temper. Go for a walk. If you come back and the person still wants to ght, take a longer walk. Yogananda wrote in Journey to Self-Realization, "Refuse to ght. No one can quarrel with you if you noncooperate. Never supply more fuel to anyone's anger." Priceless words to remem- ber when a relative picks a ght at a holiday dinner. Mindful Eating Pam Siegel, a marriage and family therapist in West L.A., specializes in mindful eating. Many of her clients are work- ing hard to overcome eating disorders and body image issues. Holiday gatherings can be their undoing. " ere are more and view. Try and make room for an opposing view by saying, 'I see view. Try and make room for an opposing view by saying, 'I see view. Try and make room for an opposing view by saying, 'I see stillness, the meditator begins to expe- ber when a relative picks a ght at a holiday dinner. founder of the Self-Realization Fellowship. His 1946 book has Mindful Eating ber when a relative picks a ght at a holiday dinner. december/january 2017 27