Whole Life Magazine

August / September 2017

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Page 11 of 35

healthy living CLEAN BAY CERTIFIED RESTAURANTS CLEAN BAY CERTIFIED RESTAURANTS "When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be….To hold, you must fi rst open your hand. Let go." —Lao Tzu T here might not be another word in the English language that evokes as much opening, tenderness, and possibility as release. On an emotional level, the ability to let go is the essence of what real intimacy is made from. Evolving our innate human longing to hold onto those we love is how rela- tionships mature and become vessels that not only hold us but also increase our capacity for emotional release. We become our better selves as we cultivate this letting go in all of the tiny, daily acts of forgiveness that all intimate relationships demand. Ironically, the more that we let go, the more that our ability to trust our love fl ourishes and the container of love that holds both partners offers the freedom to follow one's own heart with no fear of abandoning someone else, or being abandoned. De- veloping the courage to let go and release is the way to peace in ourselves and in our relationships. Aspiring toward release is one of the foundational tenets of most spiritual disciplines. Across all faiths, we learn that by focusing our attention and expanding our willingness to let go, we simultaneously learn to lean into reality as it is, truly expe- riencing the moment and the satisfying freedom that comes from letting things be as they are. In intimate relationships, this act translates into a gateway where love, forgiveness, and the courage to try again can fl ourish. Most fundamentally, the experience and practice of release lives in the body. Cultivating practices that bring mindful re- lease of the tensions and stress that the body accumulates is tantamount to graceful aging. Even more profoundly, learning to surrender to physical release is the opening door to the mys- terious and compelling territory of sexual pleasure. Bodies that are contracted with stress are compromised in their ability to experience sensory perception, which is key to sensual awak- ening. If we don't have the sensory attention to smell a sum- mer morning, or taste a juicy peach, or feel the goosebumps that rise up as the wind dries our skin, how could we possibly expect to share the most mysterious of pleasures available to the human body? The practice of release in our hearts, minds, and bodies is the preparation for the willingness we must possess to let go of the rational and surrender to the exquisite unknown territories of our sexuality. Orgasm, the most coveted of all human sensa- tions, is not an experience of demand but rather release — re- lease of the stress and anxiety of trying to get there, release of the mental controls to guide the way, release of how and where it breaks us open. In truth, letting go is the only instruction that can be offered in seeking the scintillating release that accom- panies orgasm's climactic heights. These days especially it is easy to be misled into believing that it is what we accumulate that defi nes a successful life. In actuality, the most satisfying lives are often lead by people who strive for its opposite. Becoming dedicated to increasing our capacity for letting go everywhere not only leaves space for the deep intimacy we all crave, but also offers a gentle space to be- friend ourselves. Release teaches us that there is a more pow- erful force than our constant trying. Effort and aspiration can only be balanced with the courage and insight to let go. As Lao Tzu reminds us, "By letting it go, it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try, the world is beyond the winning." Right now, think of what you can let go of and don't try, just open your hands. —Wendy Strgar, writer, teacher, and loveologist, is the founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, makers of Almost Naked 95%-organic lubricant. By Wendy Strgar The Magic of Release SEX TALK LETTING GO AD SALES REP WANTED! Come join our dynamic team and earn what you're worth. Potential to earn $500+ per week for the right person. Call NOW! Whole Life Times 310.425.3056 sales@wholelifemagazine.com —Wendy Strgar, writer, teacher, and 12 wholelifetimes.com

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