Whole Life Magazine

June / July 2017

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healthy living BEING A RECEIVER OF LOVE BEING A RECEIVER OF LOVE "Pleasure is the object, duty, and the goal of all rational creatures." —Voltaire T here is no better time to re-think our ideas about plea- sure than summertime, when long warm days and sultry nights invite us to live slower and more deliberately. And yet being deliberate is important when it comes to pleasure because living in our culture, so focused on instant gratifi cation, it is easy to lose sight of what truly creates a long-lasting and deep- ly healing experience of pleasure. Instant gratifi cation may feel good in the moment, but it also reinforc- es our brain's dopamine response, to constantly want more, whereas the deep experience of true plea- sure actually resets the chemical balances in the brain and body toward centeredness. And sadly, many of the things we use to get instant satisfaction, whether drugs, alcohol, or food, can be harmful on repeat—but true pleasure does not cause harm. More profoundly, real pleasure is also an act of forgive- ness, both internally and in our re- lationships—it heals the past in the present releasing us into a new way of seeing ourselves and the poten- tial in our life. While often overlooked, per- haps the singular most healthy and distinguishing aspect of our hu- manity is our universal urge toward seeking pleasure. In fact, when we discover and explore what gives us pleasure, we are also growing and evolving into better versions of ourselves. This developmental aspect of true pleasure is what dis- tinguishes it from the more com- mon experience of addictions and compulsions that we often begin in the misguided desire for pleasure, but that can easily come to rule our life. Yet when we look closer, we know that our addictions are not really com- patible with the evolving drive of pleasure as they are with our powerful drive to become numb and escape our lives. Even the pleasurable moments when fi rst introduced to alcohol or drug use isn't really seeking pleasure as much as it is responding to a dare, and then quickly erodes into a self-medicated exit from our own hearts and lives. We know that these addictions have nothing to do with our capacity for pure pleasure because at the heart of it is our willingness to give our full attention to our sensory experience. Pleasure is at once some of the most memorable and deeply healing moments we can claim. Leaning toward real pleasure heals us on a biochemical level by balancing the powerful neurochemicals that predict our moods and act as natural stress relievers. Many studies document the natural increases in serotonin, oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins which are generated by a wide range of pleasurable experiences. Unlike most addictions that cleave us from our ability to be present to the moment and ourselves, real pleasure brings us more deeply into our reality than anything else. Living deeply in our body: whether through exercise, all types of physical touch from hugs to massages, a regular meditation practice, and of course the pro- found pleasure of sexual intimacy, all affi rm our capacity for lasting and transformative pleasure. The efforts of real pleasure-seeking pay off in both the positive emotional and mental states it creates, as well as the physical release of stress, tension, and even previous trauma stored in us on a cellular level. And orgasmic pleasure is the most transformational of all. Hav- ing the courage to lean toward this ultimate and most highly coveted pleasure release requires that we also release the shame and fear that prevent us from experiencing our bodies in this deeply vibra- tional capacity. As we surrender our mental controls, the human orgasm provides a gateway to the sensation of pure energy awaken- ing to itself and a brief glimpse of enlightenment. Our sense of time and space is altered in these deepest of intimate meetings as our courage to be completely naked and vulnerable inside of someone else's experience is rewarded with the boldest form of pleasure. It all starts with coming to your senses and choosing the path of pleasure over gratifi cation. Wendy Strgar, writer, teacher, and loveologist, is the found- er and CEO of Good Clean Love, makers of Almost Naked 95%-organic lubricant. By Wendy Strgar SEX TALK Seeking True Pleasure MAKING LOVE SUSTAINABLE June/July 2017 13

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