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"He who loves the world as his body may be en- trusted with the empire." —Lao Tzu S ex appeal is the most vibrant form of grati- tude that we embody. It is a magical alchemy of feeling good enough in your body that you can say yes to all the visceral and sensory life experiences that are the stuff of memory and the container of relationships. Trusting yourself to say yes is to open up to the constant change that life demands with confi dence and ease. Growing healthy, intimate relationships is impossible with- out a capacity for gratitude. So try on one of these three simple, sexy tips to color your sex appeal with gratitude and watch how quickly they will snowball into a passionate love affair with your life in and out of the bedroom. Seek out and surrender to pleasure Gratitude is the doorway to experiencing plea- sure in the body. Gratefully embracing our unique human capacities to sense the world brings life into clear focus, decreasing the distractions that distance us from deeply feeling life's sweetest mo- ments. Surrendering to pleasure really is as simple as focusing our full attention on what we are sens- ing in the present moment. This simple gratitude practice is a healing balm for what ails us in the bedroom as well. Feeling grateful moves you to a new level of sexiness because it allows you to en- trust your erotic impulses to your innate sensory capacity. I believe the most powerful place to begin is with our sense of smell which is co-located in our brains with our arousal mechanism. By paying attention to and enhancing what we ex- perience through our nose, we build a literal scent-uous bridge to the person we love. Nothing stops us in our tracks like the smell of a yummy pie ready to come out of the oven. Be grate- ful every time you smell your lover and watch your fantasy sex life unfold. Accept people and things as they are Gratitude transforms how we see the people we love and the events that transpire between us. There may be nothing sexier than the pure acceptance of being exactly as we are. Re- leasing the pressure and pretense of needing to be different to be loved catapults you into the sensuality of your reality. This is how a practice of gratitude turns us into being receivers of love, which is the singular path to both overcoming our resistance to intimate pleasures and is arguably the way of the enlight- ened heart. This acceptance transforms what happens between the sheets as well. Orgasm, the most profound involuntary and cleansing response the human body generates, responds best when it is accepted in all of its unique, quirky expressions. Pay attention with your heart Our attention is the rare and purest form of gratitude that happens in us when we stop and use our senses fully, allow- ing our heart to bask in the wonder and mystery of our human body. Mary Oliver once wrote: "This is the fi rst, wildest, and wisest thing I know, that the soul exists, and that it is built en- tirely out of attention." Paying attention to this amazing world through our miraculous physical body is nothing if not a senso- ry feast. Extending this attention to our heart center is where gratitude translates into a creative burst of energy that feels a lot like joy. We want to do better by those we love when we are grateful and that cracks our heart open to the most gratifying sexual encounters we can imagine. Wendy Strgar, writer, teacher, and loveologist, is the found- er and CEO of Good Clean Love, makers of Almost Naked 95%-organic lubricant. Sexy Gratitude healthy living BEING A RECEIVER OF LOVE By Wendy Strgar SEX TALK april/may 2017 13