Issue link: https://digital.copcomm.com/i/5037
From the Editor / the tasting panel / december 2009 So it's the holidays and I probably should aim at not being so cantankerous in my monthly missal. In the spirit of the season, I should be less the curmudgeon and more the warm and loving father figure. Nah. Why change now? I'm going to take on restaurant banter—those annoying little pat phrases that gush from the mouths of servers like an overflowing storm drain. "Hi, my name is Wendell, I'll be your waiter tonight." Really? I thought you came over here wearing an apron and holding an order pad because you were going to be my brain surgeon tonight. And, I'm sorry to inform you, I really don't want you to be my best friend; I'd just like you to serve me my meal, professionally and unobtrusively. "Are you still working on that?" Are you implying that eating at this restaurant is work? I'd hoped it would be a pleasure. "Can I get that out of your way?" Here you are suggesting that, at any moment, I might have some sort of seizure and start foaming at the mouth and flailing around, knocking plates, food and glasses every which way. Yes, I guess you'd better remove anything breakable from the immediate vicinity. "And how was everything tonight?" Well, things were really good until I walked into this place. Recently, at an execrable restaurant in Minneapolis, the waiter asked this question and I proceeded to tell him in exquisite detail what was wrong with every dish. He stood there, with that "deer in the headlights" look on his face, unable to speak or react. I suppose nobody had ever answered with anything other than "fine." Well, it is the holidays, a time when most wait staff people are over- worked and undertipped. Maybe I should cut them a little slack. Okay. But let's make a New Year's resolution to move away from making every service a tired recitation of annoying clichés. Happy Holidays, everyone! "Can I Get That Out of Your Way?" PHOTO: CATHY TWIGG-BLUMEL