Whole Life Magazine

December 2013/January 2014

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Page 14 of 43

SEX TALK THE TIDE OF DESIRE Balancing the dry spells W e are water beings inhabiting a mostly fluid world. Our emotional lives are encapsulated in the most fluid organ in the body—the heart—which regulates the flow of life energy every second. I once read an analogy of human connection that described successful intimate bonds in terms of moisture—when your heart feels dry and brittle it is difficult for it to bond to anyone else. Moisture happens in our hearts when we allow ourselves to feel. When our relationships work, they flow. When our sexuality is high functioning, our natural lubricating processes create satisfying and deep connection. It doesn't take much imagination to understand the all-too-common intimacy problems that exist for so many couples in this context of moisture or lack of it. Vaginal dryness affects a surprising 40–50 percent of women at some point in their lifetime for reasons as diverse as stress, medications, childbearing and aging, not to mention an insensitive sexual partner. This dryness can make pleasure feel as distant as an oasis in a barren desert. Then there is the dryness of spirit that sometimes comes By Wendy Strgar upon us, where every effort feels like a burden. We feel disconnected from the purpose of our actions, and consequently, from the people surrounding us. This is how relationships lose their adherence, when we are unable to communicate, to listen, to touch. This most distressing kind of isolation is the dryness that separates us from our ability to laugh, hope and imagine. Dry spells happen to all of us, in various aspects of our lives. It is the nature of things and people. How to respond? Moisture is the essence of life. Without water we perish. Restore fluidity to your life balance with some of these ideas: 1. Feel your feelings, whatever they are, and have the courage to express some of them. Even feeling flooded by feelings is usually a better choice than just cutting your self off from them. 2. Invest in good lubricant (not petrochemical based). It is at least as important as good moisturizer. Don't let biology, medication or aging dictate your ability to feel pleasure. Healing lu- continued on page 16 december/january 2013 -'14 WLT-DEC-JAN-11-24-10pm.indd 15 15 11/24/13 10:34 PM

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