Whole Life Magazine

February/March 2013

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balanced and desirable approach to inances. (Price's website, www.moneycoachinginstitute.com, has a free quiz for determining your own money type.) Of course, archetypes are always in lux depending on current circumstances, and multiple types can often be at play. "At any point in time, we could have an archetype show up—they all exist in all of us," says Price. "It's just a matter of who has the most speaking parts at any given time." pinpoint your values Though the "opposites attract" adage may serve relationships in many ways, the inancial side of things isn't often one of them. If one person is a chronic spender while the other believes in saving, it frequently drives a wedge into the middle of an otherwise happy couple. "Another thing couples have a hard time with is that one may be horriied by the way the other handles money," says Tessler. "Even if you have shared values on the surface, you may spend or save your money in different ways." To alleviate this issue, Tessler recommends engaging in "values-based bookkeeping," in which each person identiies what matters individually and reaches a mutual compromise. As an example, she cites an instance where she couldn't understand her husband spending a mint on a road bike, but later realized that her facials and acupuncture equated to the same expense over the long-term. The two then sat down to negotiate what mattered to each of them and found ways to it their passions into their shared pocketbook. The Hughes' employ the same practice, making sure that their individual needs are met within their monthly budget. "I know I can go out and get a mani/ pedi or new pair of shoes every so often, within reason," shares Vanessa. "Alex, without those regular expenditures, had the money banked aside to be able to purchase a new camera for taking pictures of our daughter. There should be no judgment from one person about what makes the other happy." Taking that approach a step further, Tessler also suggests relecting your values within the budget by renaming your expense categories (i.e. renaming "rent" your "sanctuary" or "love shack"). "Right there, it changes from 'that damn bill' to a great, important value," explains Tessler. She adds that it's hard to go wrong as long as you're operating from within a safe space—together. "In that safe space you carve out, you can talk about the different ways you spend money and how it its in the overall plan," she says. "Remember, you're on the same team." n Love&Money.indd 25 February/March201325 1/25/13 6:01 PM

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