Linda Novia

Issue 15

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Page 47 of 83

"He's the man of my dreams!" said my friend Sandra to me while mentioning all the attributes that make this man she wants to marry exceptional. When she finished with the attributes she added, "by the way, he has two children that I haven't met yet" and I said astonished: "you have been in a relationship with him for 10 months and you haven't met his children yet". A lot of women feel like they are in a fairy tale when planning their wedding but it is necessary to have both feet well placed on the ground. Marrying a divorced man who has children means adaptation to a lot of changes. I have no ill intent against divorced men, on the contrary, some men have benefited themselves from such unpleasant experience and they now have a better perspective regarding marriage and know how to handle disagreements with a partner in life. After a brief ceremony you will go from a single woman to a stepmother! Before saying "yes, I do" to a divorced man who has children you must meet his children and also establish a relationship with them. Each case is different, there are some women that are welcome with opened arms, others have to "earn" the little ones' love and MARIA MARÍN Author/Motivational Speaker REAL EVENTS eventos reales 48 Linda Novia Magazine | 'He's the man of my dreams!' 'Planning a wedding is not only a matter of discussing different shades of green. If the man you love is a father, you have other very important details to take care of first and this is a fact that my dear friend Sandra cannot escape.' MARRYING A MAN WHO HAS CHILDREN YOU ARE IN SECOND PLACE. His children will always be in the first place. Plans will be postponed when one of his children is ill; his child's recital is a priority over the happy hour. They are his priority. THEY HAVE THEIR OWN MOTHER. You do not have to become their mother. Be their friend, pamper them and take care of them but your roll is to be their father's wife. WHAT IS EXPECTED FROM YOU? Talk to your fiancé and ask him what he expects from you. It might be an uncomfortable conversation but you both have to be sincere with each other. Does he expect you to fix his children's breakfast so that they can go to school when in fact you love sleeping during the morning? THE X FACTOR. YOU CANNOT IGNORE THE EX-WIFE. Your fiancé probably has a financial obligation to her that you should not resent. The ex could make crazy financial requests that will affect the family's budget. If she does not fulfill her obligations, he will have to take part in this because the kids are his children. It is not a matter of being fair or not. DO YOU SEE YOURSELF LIVING WITH THEM? Traditionally, children stay with their mother. If something changes in this picture, are you ready to take care of his children full time? DO YOU WANT TO HAVE YOUR OWN CHILDREN? When you are engaged to a divorced man who has children you have to talk with him about having children together. Maybe he is satisfied with the children he already has and he is not interested in having more. BY MARIA MARÍN TRANSLATED BY ANGÉLICA ARAGÓN Maria Marin is a motivational speaker, radio host and author of the book Mujer Sin Limite. Visit her website:

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